Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Romania Through England's Eyes


An article on this subject was long due and I cannot call myself a true Romanian immigrant if I don't pick a bit at the country that I am currently in, by publicly-shaming its people and the way they act towards us, the honest Romanian people who only came here to work in the most honest of ways. "all sarcasm intended"
The internet is filled with articles showing how the Romanians are united in misery, how patriotic, civilised and full-of-love they are and how discriminated and rejected they feel in the countries in which they CHOSE to settle in. Of course, it was, more-or-less, an involuntary choice, a scenario on the borderline of "leave Romania or deeply struggle to pay the bills each month". But what I guess I am trying to say here is that the truth is always somewhere in the middle. People don't throw tomatoes at us on the streets, rarely yell "go back to your country, you filthy gypsies" and most definitely don't treat us in a privileged way just because we are "poor immigrants". We all struggle, Romanian, Indian or English alike, but some more than the others. Some of us come with pre-established factory settings and a how-to-act-around-them manual where you would find tips such as "don't call them poor to their faces", "don't use the word gypsy near a Romanian", "speak in a slow and relaxed matter in order for them to fully understand" and, the universal one "treat them like any other human being".
It is true, life is most certainly harder if you are an immigrant who comes from a country which already has a bad reputation to start with, but people around you will really try to make it easier. At least, that's how it looks like. They are trying to accept you, help you integrate, make conversation, smile, ask questions about your culture and look interested in what you have to say. They look genuinely and positively surprised when you tell them you speak three-four languages, the look sincerely entertained by your jokes and they seem to really enjoy your company, despite all your immigrant background. They invite you to gatherings, they make you feel comfortable and appreciated, they make you forget the fact that you have different cultures by simply engaging into a human-human relationship. And this is how it should always be. And this is how it happened in England.
A conversation should never start with "what country are you from" instead of "what's your name". One should never form a general opinion over an entire country by what a 8% minority does. And, yes, I am referring to the Channel 4's show about "The Romanians are coming". I did see it, on national television. And I was deeply upset. Mostly because that's where the majority of English people gets its news from. And that is the only thing the really know about Romania. I did ask. I was curious to know what are the stereotypes circulating in England about Romania, since I already know what the Belgians think. And, to my surprise, the "prostitute" and "alcoholic" ones weren't present ("wink"). Just the "gypsy" and "thief"ones. And that's it. No Nadia, no Ceasescu, but Dracula was on everyone's lips. But what is even more surprising is that most of them have no idea who gypsies are, what are their culture, what they represent, nothing. They just heard the word and instantly associated it with Romanians, mainly because of the "Romani" term, not to be confused with the "Români" one. Many of them don't even know why we are so offended when people compare us to them. It's funny and ironic at the same time.
The people I've met so far were quite different from what I expected. I was expecting more hate and ignorance,but what I've got in return were decent human beings. With a very particular sense of humour (which I love, btw), a genuine familiarity to them and a feeling of transparency. I was feeling comfortable, funny, interesting, sociable. Just like I am! I felt like I should not try to hide my weird humour and my bubbly (read as over-excited/angry) personality and just be me. And I must admit it feels great to not hide. But let's not get too happy, because it is not all rainbows and butterflies, of course. Like in any other country, there are bad people, greedy people, jealous and arrogant people, selfish people and hypocrite people. But for them I am prepared. I am used to mean. I am not used to nice, this I still have to work on. I still have to learn to allow niceness around me without thinking there must be an ulterior motive, to accept the appreciation I am getting and maybe start seeing myself like the others see me. #awesome

Inform yourself here :http://romaniatourism.com/



Sunday, January 25, 2015

The good, the bad, the ugly




Two months have passed, two months filled with emotion, despair and exciting new beginnings.
The cold, windy Christmas and the New Year celebrations were as great as we could expect of a person who was feeling lost and alone in a new home, with a new future that seemed more dark than optimistic. But then something happened. As the clock showed 0:00 and the date changed from 31 to 1, as I was drinking my way to sleep and contemplating over my shitty year, I took a decision, a New Year resolution, as we so commonly call it.  I decided to stop giving a shit, which is, in my case, the most difficult thing to do. I care too much about too many things, I consume myself over everything and everybody and then I fall into a self-pity black hole while eating my thoughts away and blaming myself for everything that goes wrong with this world. I started feeling ugly on the inside and outside and I couldn’t chase away this sickening feeling of a perpetual incompetence. And then I stopped. This sudden realization came over me as I wondered who would do the same thing for me. Who would be eating his brains out thinking about my well-being?  Well, besides my mum, bless her, most probably nobody else. So why do I have to pressure myself into being this perfect, kind and over-considerate person with everybody around me when obviously this isn’t doing any good for me? Because the world doesn’t respond the same way, not even close to the expectations I have of it. So, I decided to stop. I decided to be selfish for once in my life and to put myself first. And what do you think it happened? It really worked! I could sleep better, without the night-terrors; I was feeling pretty again, even with some extra-kilos and, the most impressive change of all, I started feeling optimistic about what the future might have reserved for me.
I still haven’t found my ideal job or my handsome prince-charming, but I landed a pretty cool editorial internship that I just love, where I finally feel appreciated for what I do.  And I constantly have this voice in the back of my head that tells me that all I have to do is be patient and things will reveal themselves before my eyes just like I deserve them. I might just be crazy but for now it works, for now that voice is doing a brilliant job in helping me wake up in the morning. 
And I often think about Belgium, about the people I left behind and how much I miss them every day, but then I remember why I didn’t stay. I miss the coffee and the cheap cigarettes; I miss my dog and walking down the streets. And I miss Romania, so much. I think the missing part will never go away and, even if I wanted to, it’s there to remind me who I am and where I truly belong.
P.S. Fun fact: English houses don’t have doorbells.